Self-love, selfish?

“Self-love is learning how to listen to your own heart so you can understand someone else’s.” ~ Zella Sage

February is often seen as the month dedicated to love with the celebration of Valentine’s day, but it also a good reminder to show a little love to yourself.

Self-love, or self-compassion, can be viewed as an indulgent or selfish act, especially when viewed through the lens of luxurious acts such as spas, bubble baths and other clichés. 

However, true self-compassion is simply being alert and sensitive to our own needs that allows us to be more loving and generous to those we care for. A good example of this is how we potentially treat those around us when we’re having a ‘bad day’ versus a ‘good day’. As Thich Nhat Hanh expresses so perfectly: “If we take good care of ourselves, we help everyone. We stop being a source of suffering to the world, and we become a reservoir of joy and freshness." 

I’ve always been interested in the relationship between self-compassion and mental health, inspiring my master’s thesis where I looked into the relationship between youth mental health and levels of self-compassion. The research consistently concluded that self-compassion was one of the biggest indicators of resilience and overall wellbeing. If you’re interested in reading more about research in this field, check out the work of Kristin Neff.